I’m Not Fine

I usually blog when I am at a good point or when I have somewhat of a level head. Right now I am honestly feeling so terrible and so hurt that I am actually crying as I type. Y’all… words hurt, people hurt, life hurts. I do not understand why some people cannot bear the thought of someone else being happy. Why is it necessary to hurt others. I am so broken right now. I have a lot going on behind the scenes and the added stress of other people does not help. I feel so close to a breaking point but I am trying to make myself be strong. It is so hard. Constantly trying to tell myself to be happy and to not let certain things bother me, but I am a human. I get hurt and I cannot help how I feel about things. Right now I am a girl that is not fine. I am actually doing really bad. I am trying so hard to be strong but right now it seems so far away. I usually can think through my sadness and process and find the good out of it but right now I am broken. I have no idea where the good in these situations are right now. I do not understand why God constantly lets awful things happen to me. I do not know why I have to constantly be put down. Falling asleep and not waking up doesn’t sound too shabby right now. I know I sound so whiney and annoying but right now that is how I feel and I am being honest. I am in so much pain and I don’t know what to do.

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