Insecurities Kill Oppurtunities

Every girl or boy has felt insecure at some point in their life. I feel like that is just human nature. All of us look at one another and judge. I personally always make myself feel worse. I am constantly comparing myself to other girls and make myself feel so terrible. WHY? Why do I do that to myself?

One time I was at a birthday party and this girl was there that makes me feel so insecure. She is looks perfect and I hate on myself for not looking like her. Needless to say, the whole party sucked because I felt so self-conscious the whole time. I wasted a perfectly good evening by making myself feel terrible. That is so ridiculous now that I look back on it. I know (hope) that I am not the only person that has done this before. I ruined an opportunity for myself to have a great night. Sure it was just a birthday party, but it makes me wonder if my insecurities have made me miss out on other opportunities and I did not even realize it. That sucks.

One day my consoler asked me if I could change myself what I would change. I rattled off a list. I felt really embarrassed to say it out loud. Why is that? I think it every single day but why was it so hard to say? I spend way too much time worrying about the parts of life that do not matter and that kills me. I am SO good at faking happy which is not good. The whole “fake it till you make it” attitude has not worked for me. I have tried to act confident hoping that eventually I will believe it but it does not work that way.

I put my security in my own self and in the world. I should be putting my security in God but that is so hard for me to do. I am really bad at doing what I am supposed to do haha ugh. I keep hoping that one day everything will click. That I will feel beautiful and confident….but I’ve been waiting to “click” for a long time. Obviously that is not going to work. I need to work on not being so hard on myself and putting my security in God.

I love makeup. I think it is so fun to do and I love watching tutorials to make myself better. I put way too much of my worth into makeup. I HATE the way that I look without makeup. She looks so good without makeup or she never breaks out or her eyelashes don’t even need mascara. I catch myself constantly comparing. STOP! It is so terrible. This is really dumb, but for example: When I have on makeup and I feel very confident you better believe that I will be all over your snapchat. I seek approval from others which is completely ridiculous. If I feel like I do not look good you will be getting the “side face”. hahaha Like I know this is the dumbest most shallow example but I feel like a lot of girls can relate to this.

I have a plan. A plan for all us girls (or boys). Every single morning we need to wakeup and look in the mirror and think positively. I don’t care if there is a huge zit in the middle of your forehead or your eyebrows are not “on fleek”. We need to look at ourselves and focus on something that we like about ourselves. For example, when I look in the mirror, I need to focus on my eyes and my nose. I think that I have pretty eyes and my nose is a good size. I need to get myself out of the habit of going towards what I hate about myself. I hate my face shape and my eyelashes. I need to look in the mirror and compliment myself, “WOW! My eyes look so pretty today and my nose is such a good shape. I am so blessed that God gave me eyes that I can see out of and a nose to smell. I am blessed and HE thinks I am beautiful.” Do you get it? Every day we don’t have to wake up feeling amazing, but instead of shooting ourselves down, lets work to bring ourselves up. My consoler told me that “Happy people attract happy people”. I have found that to be true. If we start with making ourselves happy, happy people will be attracted to us. That makes a whole environment of happy! That rocks!

We were all created so special by God. He thinks that each and every one of us is beautiful. We were all created in his image. When I get really self-conscious I try to think about the good parts of my life like my health or my mom. I try to take away from the negative surface things and think of the deeper parts of life that actually matter in the end. Y’all being a teenager is hard, especially our generation. We can make it out alive and I want us to make it out alive, but also be happy while living it out. We need to focus on Him and worry less about our eyelashes or noses. Own what you have and love yourself. We can do this. We are all beautiful :).

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