The Beginning of The End

*All names used on my blog are changed to protect the identities of the persons mentioned.

Rewind to my freshman year of high school. I had been having a tough year, but I was coping alright. I had just started dating my new sophomore boyfriend, Tyler. Everything was going good. I was very clear with him that we would never have sex. We would never do anything besides making out. I was very strong in this decision for about 3 months. Hormones start to race and the “I love you” phrase is spoken all the time. I love this guy. I feel like we will get married. Why not give him my body? Stupid me. It is so hard to resist temptation. I beg of you to please not put yourself in situations where your body can be given away. God knows what he is doing and I totally understand now why it is meant for marriage. Stupid me was blinded by the fact that my boyfriend “loved me”. Slowly things began to intensify and progress until May 28, 2o14 I lost my virginity. I cried and cried on my way home afterwards. Tyler and I were not even dating at the time. He was drunk and I was depressed. It was the worst possible way to give away my gift. I hated myself. It was that instant that my whole life changed, yet I had no idea at the time. Of course I was attached to him. He “loved me” and I just gave him my one last piece of me that I had left. He was already a controlling boyfriend, but I had always let him do it. I was so insecure that I felt that I needed to stay with him. The thought of being alone terrified me. I had no idea what to do with myself if I did not have him. I slowly let him chip away at my confidence and self worth. I did not realize it but he had complete control over me. He completely controlled my emotions. I was like his stupid puppet, and I had let him do it. Ever since that day my life was different. My blogs following will be my life since then in pieces.

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